“My name is Olivia Sose,” I always introduce myself in public spaces, “and I am a sex toy vendor.” While my name gives no one second thoughts, the mention of my personal brand always knocks up eyebrows. The most frequently asked question I get is “Why do you sell sex toys?” and I always retort, perhaps with a measure of impatience, “Why do people sell handbags?” Why does anyone sell anything? Being a sex toy vendor in Nigeria is brutal work; it’s that business society needs and at the same time the typical Nigerian doesn’t want to be seen patronizing. Well, why am I a sex toy vendor? I want all women to have orgasms, it’s really that simple. In layman’s term, I want all women to ‘Cum’.
I consider myself an advocate for women’s orgasms. There is a profound gap between women’s orgasm and that of men; of course, more men have orgasms than women. I wouldn’t have believed this because an orgasm is something I can give myself in five minutes but several women have confided in me about their sexual experiences and the truth, sadly, is that women aren’t ‘cumming’ enough. Over the years, studies have shown that during vaginal intercourse only 25% of women have consistently experienced an orgasm. The reality is that most women aren’t going to achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration. More women experience orgasm through clitoris penetration, and last I checked, the percentage is at a staggering 75%. This is a fact that most sexually active adults are not aware of.
But being a sex toy vendor comes with its headaches. Skull-splitting migraines. The Nigerian society has labeled me the enemy, they accuse me of wanting to spoil their girlfriends and wives, they say I want to replace the almighty penis with machines and that I am the reason women are no longer satisfied with a 6-inch cock. My family fought me for a long time and several family meetings were arranged in my name, but I never faltered in my conviction. Luckily, my elder sisters didn’t think it was a big deal. They helped convince my mum and now she prays for my business to expand, although she doesn’t forget to add in her prayers that I get a good job, so I can leave this business and find a husband. I have been called a woman of no virtue, and my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because a woman who sells sex toys “no get wife material”.
When I first started this business, random strangers would come to my inbox to offer advice; they were really bothered that a beautiful young girl would tow this path, the broad road to hell. Some men would come at me with transactional sex propositions and when I turn them down, they would hurl insults at me, after all a girl who sells sex toys must be a prostitute, why should I refuse the juicy offer? I haven’t dated for over eight months now because I realized every man who came to me wanted hot sex. They didn’t care to know me; I was just like one of my toys to them, someone who knew all the styles, the girl who would make their fantasies come true.
Sex toys were not produced to replace men. Sex toys are sex accessories – they’re not compulsory for good sex but they definitely make great sex. If you want her to retell the story of your sex escapades you might need a couple of toys in the bedroom. No man can thrust as fast as the Eurocome Auriga, or do a 360 vibration like the Dibe Cyclone Fire, your tongue can’t move as fast as the Baile Tongue, neither can you last as long a the Libo Butterfly.
Sex toys have helped lots of women in exploring their bodies, they now know what works for them and in turn, they teach their men how to pleasure them. Women who have been denied the pleasure of an orgasm through circumcision can now experience this in its full glory. My intention squarely is to bring extraordinary pleasure to women. Why is that so difficult to deal with? ✚
Sose is a serial entrepreneur and an advocate for women orgasm.